Your Ma’s a Hard Brexit, a new play by Stacey Gregg – read the script – The Guardian
See my daddy.
He has my head melted.
My Craig’s workin away, right? Skilled labour. Contract work. If ya wanna work, ya have to go after it.
He’s been everywhere, across the water, Isle a’ Man, you name it.
Well. He’s applied for his Irish passport. (Comic grimace)
My dad near blown a fuse.
Craig’s gettin an Irish passport!
Dad’s eyeballs are out on stalks: (dad voice) “But … but you’re British! You’re Protestant! People didn’t go signin up to the UVF and knockin skulls in for 30 years so your fella could jump teams when he fancied it!”
I ses, Dad – Ian Paisley Jr was tweetin about getting an Irish passport!
Dad’s huffin and puffin, but I couldn’t give a toot.
If it means he won’t be seen off for work, he’s Irish! (Awful Irish accent) “Tap a’the marnin to ya begorra begorra!” Aye!
She glances down at her kid, who laughs. She pulls a silly face.
Is your mummy a glue bag or what?
(To us) Dad and the rest of them were near dead for Brexit.
Me and the ones who work on the Interface Project – the Interface is along the peace-line here, between communities – the ones at work are all remain.
Like, we know what it means to be divided. We’re not too bad at that ourselves!
But sure, it can’t be half the country’s wrong, can it? I ses to daddy, what’s so bad about remain? He’s ragin. Says it’s all to do with economics. Us gettin seen off. I ses, Daddy, the only funding for peace work, cross-community work, the only money comin in round here, it’s EU funding!
And if that dries up, I don’t know.
Craig was sayin about the border. I’m sorry, I can see that’s not gonna work out well. Sure, Lord so and so from Westminster can say nothing’s gonna change, but see once that’s the only land border for immigration and terrorists. I can’t see them sittin on their hands, do you?
I remember the border, do you?
Wasn’t much craic. Here’s us just getting on with the south.
They say themens in Westminster never think about us ones over here, and I used to think sure that can’t be true, it must just be that they don’t understand, sure they’re never over here.
Ah, they’ll stick a few checkpoints on that border and next thing you know we’ll have a referendum for a united Ireland … then everyone in Northern Ireland’ll be Irish.
(Laughing) I ses to Daddy, jeez that backfired didn’t it!
Face was trippin him.
(To child) And don’t you repeat that.
Zoom out to reveal the interface barrier, looming above them and stretching off into the distance.
At the end of the day, if you’ve your head screwed on, get your Irish passport: you’re European and your British. Go after the work.
And sure, that’s the best the young ones can hope for, isn’t it?
(Out on the child.)